the funny thing about dril posts is that they actually do have a structure to them– they hit a kind of conceptual caesura halfway through, a point where there’s no inevitable logical connection between what’s been said and what’s still to come. here, the first sentence didn’t need to result in the second, yet it’s not “lol random” either; the speaker is angry about his boss’ draconian ferret-kissing policy, and reacts in kind, and even the reference to a “screen saver” reminds us that we’re in an office. it’s a narrative progression that, despite having an internal logic, alienates its punchline from its setup. who the hell is this person?
one thing i love about @dril posts is how they all seem to take place in a universe that is somewhat like our own, but with the habitus of white middle america taken to a bizarre, absurd, but strangely logical conclusion. take this one, for instance:
so we have our setting: a security guard protecting the american flag in the betsy ross museum, something almost archetypically american and middle class. but once again the first part, or setup, for the punchline, “fucking the flag,” careens the joke into an alien punchline that still, given the setting, makes sense. @dril’s security guard character imitates a sort-of cop-talk, the banter of a security guard, “buddy, they wont even let me fuck it”. you can imagine a similar response from a guard at any museum, but we’re talking about Fucking the American Flag, here.
i really love @dril.
it’s astonishing that a human being thinks of those posts. some person, someone out there whose existence we have to infer, because all we know is that those posts occur and they must be coming from somewhere. “the @dril tweeter” resonates as “the beowulf poet” does, except beowulf (which i’ve only read in translation, so i’m not an authority) has never made any use of the english language as baffling and sublime and somehow primally interlaced with the stuff of human consciousness as “IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL.”
This is my favorite post, I am so glad I found it again.
[reads summary of fic] THIS IS WHAT I WANT
[reads first 10 words of fic] this is not what i want
Idk man I think it’s gonna be hard for Taylor Swift to beat Taylor Swift AND Taylor Swift on iTunes. :/
earlier today i was thinking about the thousands of girls who post videos on youtube reviewing makeup and talking about their fav products and making tutorials and how no girl has ever once done it just to impress men like literally that whole community exists just for girls because it’s something that so many of us enjoy and yet men still think that we wear makeup for them
i don’t want to be a part of a college system where plagiarism is a worse crime than rape
THIS IS A GAME I MADE! IT IS EXACTLY WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE
it is very messy and sloppy because i made it very very quickly and also this is my first time doing something like this
it was strongly influenced by porpentine's incredible work in the same medium. THANK YOU PORPENTINE
please be aware it touches on abuse, suicide, and misgendering
i am very proud of it
okay that’s all
Gloria Steinem and Dorothy Pitman-Hughes, 1972 and 2014
Both by Dan Bagan
Wanna see my cry like a baby? Ask me who these women were.
Hughes’ father was beaten nearly to death by the KKK when she was a kid, and what does she do? Become an activist to try and stop that from happening to other people. She raised money to bail civil rights protesters out of jail. She helped women get out of abusive situations by providing shelter for them until they got on their feet. She founded an agency that helped women get to work without having to leave their children alone, because childcare in the 1970s? Not really a thing. In fact, a famous feminist line in the 70s was “every housewife is one man away from welfare.”
Then she teamed up with Steinman to found the Women’s Action Alliance, which created the first battered women’s shelters in history. They attacked women’s rights issues through boots on the ground activism, problem solving, and communication. They stomped over barriers of race and class to meet women where they were: mostly mothers who wanted better for themselves and their children.
These are women are who I always wanted to be.
Let’s not forget that these ladies are STILL out there grinding on the front lines for feminism.
Racism in its PUREST form.
I mean, let’s be real. Bill O’Reilly is ignorant as fuck.
special abilities: can make literally anything about taylor swift